Don’t Be A Weirdo When You Ask For Nudes!

The world today is divided into two categories of people ‒ the ones who send and receive nudes and the ones who stay away from their camera when they’re nude. The first type of people will tell you that life is much, much more exciting when you send naked photos you took of yourself. In a nutshell, nudes make shit fun. 

Many use nudes as a way to establish sexual tension between themselves and their sexual partner. They’re a great way to break the ice according to most. And, since people are naturally drawn to danger, they find it way more stimulating to send and receive nudes while they’re at work. That is if they follow NSFW rules and hide their phone screen from their co-workers (tip: always announce when you’re about to send a naughty photo). Most probably find it more motivating to keep working after a steamy photo from bae. 

The issue with nudes, however, is that some individuals mess up the process of asking for naked photos and end up in cringy situations. Who can blame them? It’s really easy to screw up a question that delicate, so it’s natural to have fears. Especially for guys, it’s really difficult to ask for nudes without coming off as a total weirdo/creep. I’d like to think that most guys are past the ‘Hey, you’re so hot, send some nudes pls’ phase, but just in case there’s still some out there, take this advice: Stop whatever you’re doing and change your approach. Nobody wants to send a nude to you when you’re begging for it. You have to consider a lot of things when asking for a nude. 

First off, do you have consent from the other person so you can send them your nudes? Always make sure you do, cause an unsolicited dick pic is exactly what girls don’t need (unless you don’t want your full frontal to be shared with all your crush’s besties, including her gay friends). Three important questions ought to be discussed before you run off to the world of nudes. 

When’s the right time to send a nude? 

According to Daniel Saynt, founder of NSFW ‘The New Society for Wellness’ (a sex-positive members-only club that hosts sexual education workshops with a focus in BDSM), permission is key when it comes to nudes. Before you press send, you always have to ask your partner if they want to receive something dirty. Additionally, always ensure that the conversation between you was leading to this topic anyway. You don’t want to spring it on your crush out of the blue and you do NOT want to ask for nudes when they’re talking about your family, your job, or your pet. 

Cory B (kink coach and sex educator) also finds that the best time to send a naked photo is when you’re having a hot texting session. And again, the expert insists that consent is always necessary when you’re about to send a nude. Keep it classy.  

Courtney Kocak ‒ comedian and co-host of Private Parts Unknown (a sexualities podcast exploring conversations on sex, dating, and gender) ‒ once again highlights the importance of consent and the disregard for lame unsolicited dick portraits, even though most of the nudes sent every day are mostly unsolicited dick pics. She suggests using your words instead. Many think sexting is super flirty and arousing. Describing to your partner what you’d like to do to them (and exactly how you’re going to do it) is a definite turn-on for most. Be as dirty as you need to be ‒ with your words of course. If your other half is responding well to your dirtiness, then you’ve got your green light to send a nude. 

 When’s a good time to ask for a nude? 

Cory believes that the ideal time to ask for nudes is when you’re already sexting and it’s going well. Some are spontaneous and get stimulated by sending nudes while they’re at work. Nevertheless, those are mostly couples who already have an established dynamic of how nudes come into play. 

Sofiya Alexandra ‒ comedian and co-host of Private Parts Unknown (a sexualities podcast exploring conversations on sex, dating, and gender) ‒ supports the same opinion as Cory. She thinks that sexting is a good time if you’re thinking about sending nudes. Sofiya also reminds us that both parties need to be involved in the sexting if a nude is in the works, instead of just one person being horny while the other’s wondering how to escape the awkward convo. 

Good advice from Courtney is to read the room. While it can be hard to understand what the other person means in today’s all-electronic world and miscommunication happens too often, there’s plenty of emojis and dirty talk to help you get a clue if the other person’s as interested as you are. Just check on whether they reply to your slutty texts with a proportionate level of sexiness. If they are, you’re good to go. Send that nude and make sure the lighting is good. 

What to say when asking for nudes? 

Daniel recommends asking something in the lines of ‘May I see more of you?’ You can add a devil emoji 😈, or googly eyes 👀 to hint that you’re hoping to see something naughtier. You don’t have to be that direct, you can use emojis to check the mood of the other person. A good idea is also to check whether your sexual desire is keen on swapping ‒ a sexy photo for a sexy photo. It doesn’t have to be nude but if the conversation continues well, you might get to the nudes. After you’ve shared some naughty photos you can ask the other individual if they want to share something more revealing. And you can always keep it playful with emojis ‒ that’s what they’re for ‒ use them! 👅  

Sofiya has an interesting idea that includes starting slow, namely, with abs and biceps photos and waiting for a reply from the girl. If she replies proportionately, keep going. And if at some point she stops responding with sexy photos, you’ll get an easy hint that you need to quit it at least for now. 

Courtney’s advice seems the best. She shares how an ex-beau sent her some hot Tumblr gifs and it was super sexy for her. She also said this helped get her into the mood for a naughtier photo swap sesh. 

One thing cannot be denied ‒ nudes are fun af. And if you play your cards right, your crush will be impressed with how well you can handle naughty topics. Just follow the simple rules and act casual. Make sure the lighting is good, avoid the flash and careful not the send the nude to anyone who shouldn’t be receiving such a masterpiece.